Artist Jimmy Craig Imagines What Animals Would Say If They Could SpeakBy Liezel L
Have you ever wondered what animals would say if they could talk? We’re pretty sure you’ve heard that question before. Everybody is just so curious about it. Just imagine hearing things from their perspective. We can already tell it would be one heck of a rollercoaster of a ride, like listening to a mad scientist. We’re sure we’d like everything we heard, but it’s still worth thinking about! Comic artist Jimmy Craig answers our question. In his funny and unique comic series called “They Can Talk,” he shows what would happen if animals started talking. He also puts his very own unexpected twists into his comics, making them a lot more memorable. Although he draws mostly cats and dogs, he includes other critters like birds, bugs, reptiles, and fish. Check out some of his hilarious work below!
All images courtesy of theycantalkcomics on Instagram.
We’ve long suspected that cats are just creatures made of pure adorable rage, and we think this is just the sign to confirm it. We’re not sure if this feeling is directed solely at us or everything around them, but either way, we love them no matter what.
We don’t even know what they have to be so angry about. The world may be annoying, but it’s not all bad. Perhaps they are just made to contain and absorb all the irritation in the world? Bless those furballs.
Seagulls can honestly be pretty terrifying. Like their cousins, the pigeons, those things have zero fear in them. They’re practically domesticated. They will literally approach anything or anyone and swoop down on anything with no hesitation, especially when it comes to food.
It’s like it never comes across their minds that other living things like humans are bigger than them and can hurt them. We get the idea they value food more than their own lives. Well, if we were honest, we’d admit we understand that.
From our perspective, dogs are pretty simple beings. They like to be pet, they like affection, they love being treated like the center of our world, and more than anything, they love food. Nothing can contest that. It’s just a fact.
No matter how hard we try to make them understand that human food and dog food are different and some human food can harm them, all dogs would hear is the word “food.” If they could speak, we’d have it confirmed all day long.
Master Manipulators No Matter What
Spiders may be tiny, but they are mighty creatures with many skills. If they could talk, they’d probably be like those people who don’t say much but end up winning any situation in the end with just a few simple words.
We can totally imagine this kind of conversation going down between a spider and a fly. Flies are getting smarter now, so spiders also have to think of other tactics to lure them in. But like we said, we bet the spiders would win every time.
Oh, Poor Dear
Usually, when people come up with scientific names for animals, they have all sorts of bases like where the animal was discovered, who discovered it, or a unique trait. But we’re not quite sure how they decide the common names of animals.
Sadly for the dung beetle, it seems like they got the short end of the stick in the naming game. Yes, they roll dung around into balls, but there surely could have been other attributes on which its name could have been based off, right?
It’s All A Lie!
We’re not sure if our pets know the difference between “indoor pets” and stray or wild animals, but we think they do have some suspicions. They might be acting nice and cuddly now, but we don’t know if that will change.
We do wonder what their reaction would be in the instance that they could understand us, and we revealed to them that they were just adopted and were just domesticated by humans thousands of years ago for companionship and entertainment. That would be interesting to see.
People Can’t Just Let Go Of His Nickname
Experts have said time and time again that although sharks are one of the ocean’s biggest predators, they’re not enemies to humans. Being the immutable beings we are, our reactions to them have never changed. All those horror movies have done them a disservice.
Think of all the poor Kevins out there. They also want to be greeted by their names at least once. All we say by way of greeting is “Aaaaaahhhh!!” That hurts their feelings! Imagine if someone greeted you by screaming and running or swimming away.
Taking care of our waste is a basic human function, but it can be embarrassing. Even just having someone unclog the toilet for us can already make us cringe, even if it is their job. We wonder if that’s how dogs feel about us picking up after them as well.
See, dogs have their own way of taking care of their business. So are we humans doing it wrong? Are our way of caring for them and the environment actually putting them to shame? Maaaybe we are thinking about it too deeply.
Life Needs Balance
It’s so unfair that people always treat black cats as bad luck just because of their color. They’re not bad luck. They can be nice, sweet, and cuddly too! But, of course, they’re still cats, and they still have cat duties they must attend to.
While they can also bring us joy, they also have to bring about some balance in our lives – meaning a bit of tripping, a few toe nibbles in the middle of the night, and maybe a couple of furballs now and then. Balance, we tell you.
Here’s Fluffy Johnny!
Why?! Why, oh, why is this so accurate? Every time we see a dog digging a hole on the ground through a fence, this is the same face they all make when they take a break through to the other side.
It’s like all the energy of digging and all that determination to get through to the other side has awakened their crazy side. While it may be adorable in different forms, it is not so much when you’re the one on the other side of the fence.
They’re Just A Bit Curious, You See
If you have never seen an angry goose, consider yourself lucky. Those creatures can be pretty scary, and let us tell you, when they bite or kick and start chasing you, the resulting injuries can be pretty nasty. They are some tough birds!
The thing is, we have never really given thought to why these birds are always so full of rage. They just were. This comic has enlightened us, though. Maybe they are just upset about our coats being lined with their siblings’ feathers.
Yes, Humans Are Kind Of Amazing, Sort Of?
Aside from the fact that we feed them and give them lots of attention, we kind of wonder sometimes what dogs adore about us so much that they’re willing to stick to our side through thick and thin. But then again, there are so many things we can do that they can’t.
One of those is walking on two feet effortlessly. They don’t know that it also took us years to master that, and sometimes we still trip over our own feet. Dogs who’ve also learned it might not be so impressed with us anymore.
Enough Of This Nonsense!
If we were dogs, we would also be utterly confused with the thing humans call “exercise.” We would be confused by all the effort the human is exerting and why they’re doing something that seems like it’s giving them pain.
We’re basically torturing our bodies with all the pushing, pulling, and running we’re doing, so, naturally, our poor friends won’t understand why we’re doing it. They probably think we’re punishing ourselves or something. And that is honestly how it feels sometimes!
Some Instincts Are Inborn
You know how we have an inborn defense mechanism to flee or fight like heck when threatened? Animals have it too. For some, it’s seeking out the ocean; for others, it’s learning how to spread their wings; and for a few, it’s knowing what human things to destroy.
Cats, in particular, seem to know that the couch is their go-to scratching post. You don’t even need a mother cat or anyone else to teach a kitten. That kitten will instinctually know that the couch is the best post for sharpening their nails, and you can’t do much about it.
It Truly Is Remarkable
Dogs can smell a lot more scents than humans can. Their noses are just a lot sharper than ours. Some breeds have been trained to smell narcotics. Others have even been trained to smell disease. But have you ever wondered what runs through their minds in regular sniffing sessions?
True enough. We think dogs’ keener sense of smell does help them see the world differently, but there is some truth to this comic. Like, what do they say to themselves when it’s just another dog’s bathroom spot? “Fido’s been here”?
And They Act Like Wisdom Covers It All
Tortoises can live pretty long lives, even longer than humans, and it’s one of the things we admire about them. Maybe that’s why turtles are often used to represent wisdom when it comes to symbolism and the like. Kung-Fu Panda, anyone?
We often forget that while growing that old has its perks, there are also a few downsides. So along with wisdom definitely comes the problems. It kind of makes you want to think twice about growing as old as a tortoise.
Trees Are Our Friends
As this beaver says, trees are the best, and we can’t argue with that. They help provide us with the oxygen we breathe. They also give us food and shelter. And they generally make the Earth a better place. Bonus: they’re pretty to look at.
For beavers, it’s pretty much the same thing. They get their food from trees. They use them to build their homes. And, of course, they’re also very helpful for crushing their enemies, although we didn’t know beavers had enemies. They’re just the best for everyone, aren’t they?
Good Luck Diagnosing That Tummy Ache
We wonder how seagulls handle all the human food they consume so well. Seriously, those birds can eat anything they find on the ground (or in your hand), and they can still fly off like they just ate a healthy salad of the best organic kind.
On a more serious note, though, it’s not amusing how much junk these animals are eating. These omnivores should be eating insects and nice pieces of fresh, juicy fruit straight off the tree. They seem to do okay with french fries, but they’re definitely not ideal.
The Stress Of A Lioness
Being a lioness can be comparable to being a human mom (according to this comic). You have to take care of everything from ensuring the kids behave and get their education and making sure they’re well-fed. Except a lioness has to do it in the wild.
In the wild, it’s literally tooth and nail. You can’t just bargain your way to get a zebra, no. The hyenas would be laughing at you. You have to bite and claw your way to a meal. And when put like that, it seems that every meal would have a lion mom stressed like this.
It’s A View You Want, It’s A View You’ll Get
Oh, we know how this rabbit feels. We also want to know how it feels like to see everything from above, to be in the clouds, just gliding in the sky and feeling the sun on our backs. That would be pretty cool.
We could see many places from a way cooler angle, plus we’d get a new perspective on this place we call home. We’re just not sure we want to do it dangling by the claws of a hawk or eagle, though. Looking through a plane window is fine.
Cats Won’t Know What That Is
Whenever we observe our cats, it seems like they also experience a wide variety of emotions. They get angry, happy, and sometimes they might even become a little bit sad. One thing we’ve never seen from them, though, is guilt.
If a cat ever displays guilt over something it has done, it must mean the world is turning upside down. Those creatures aren’t born with accountability. They don’t know how to recognize it. They do whatever they want and shrug their shoulders like it’s not their problem. That’s what makes them cats.
Maybe He’s Just A Philosopher
For some reason, the idea that humans aren’t the only species on Earth that can get a little intoxicated is a source of comedy (think of cats and catnip). Another species that a lot of people believe gets buzzed is the koala.
It’s all a lie, though, people. Just because they sleep a lot or stare off into the distance a lot doesn’t mean the eucalyptus they chew alters their minds. They’re just big old sleepyheads and maybe some of them venture a little bit too far into philosophy sometimes.
Where Are They Taking You?
There are a lot of signs and behaviors we understand when it comes to dog interactions, but there is also so much we don’t know yet. Like, what do they say to each other when they pass by each other on a walk?
Maybe it goes like this conversation right here, and perhaps we are the villains cutting off a perfectly good conversation between two dogs. Maybe it is just two dogs checking each other out. Sadly, we will never know the truth.
That Innate Desire
When you see a balloon, do you have this urge to pop it? Don’t worry; you’re not alone. We also get that urge sometimes and not just with balloons. Sometimes, we get this urge to shatter everything breakable. Maybe that’s what cats feel.
We don’t know if it’s the fact that things are breakable or that we all have mischievous inner children in us like cats, but there is just something so alluring about it sometimes. We wish we could have the nonchalance all cats have about it.
Food Is Food
There are some species we consider a little bit more majestic than others. Maybe it’s the way they move or their place up in the food chain. When it comes to food, though, every species is the same – graceless and silly.
No matter how majestic or grand an animal you are, you won’t be able to refuse good food, even if it came from the dumpster. When it comes to survival, you can’t give in to ego, or you won’t make it.
Getting woken up from a perfectly good nap by someone annoyingly knocking on your door is the worst, especially when the knocking is incessant. Imagine how this little beetle feels, though. And boy, was it the wrong day for him to answer the door, alright.
He is probably feeling what we humans feel when that neighbor we particularly don’t like comes knocking up our door for some nonsense reason or another. At least in our case, we won’t be eaten alive by the said neighbor.
Thanks For The Help
Cats have this reputation of being guiltless creatures that leave destruction in their wake, but maybe we’ve just been getting it wrong this whole time. Perhaps they’ve just been trying to help clean up the house of pests? It all makes sense now!
They could also be helping to redecorate the house and make it feel new again. Another reason would be that they’re just trying to help clean up, or at least their version of clean. Who knows? Maybe we should lay off the judgment.
How Much Do I Cost?
For some reason, this comic is just a little sad. But that’s only if you think of it one way. Looking at it another way, we see this little fish as full of confidence and enthusiasm for life. It thinks its value is super high, and so should we!
This cute little fish doesn’t need to know what fifty cents is in our world. Let him keep imagining that his price tag is getting higher and higher. Let it have that little bit of joy. It deserves no less!
A Worthy Opponent
Cats are pretty much some of the best hunters in the animal world. They have skills, they have the grace, and they have the tenacity to bring down prey easily and fast. Very few animals could compete with them in that department.
There is something that can match up to a cat’s swiftness and skill, though, and it’s a lot tinier than them. These are bugs. They’re fast, some of them can fly, and while a lot of them still lose to the mighty cat’s paw, they do put up a good fight.
Why Oh Why
Seriously, we can never understand it with dogs and vomit. Dogs have no fear of checking it out, even if it came from their own bodies. To be perfectly honest, this is probably something we never want to understand about dogs.
For some humans, just seeing the stuff could already make them nauseous. Why do dogs enjoy this stuff? Why? Is there any science behind this? Okay, we are sure there is, but we have no intentions to look it up.
What Else Could There Be
It’s amazing how much our pets can learn from what we do every day. Sadly for them, humans have weird and complex minds, and we make decisions every few seconds or so. They shouldn’t expect much from just one action.
Nothing will stop them, though, especially when it comes to prospects of food. If going into the kitchen means feeding time, it’s only feeding time from then on and nothing else. If you walk in there, you’d better believe your cats will follow.
We think everyone’s pretty much feeling the same thing this cicada is feeling right now. Imagine thinking, “This is going to be my year! This is the year I make the most of my life!” only to be shut down by all the craziness.
Imagine being a cicada and living underground, biding your time for so long only to emerge in 2020. That has got to be a huge bummer. There’s nothing to do but make the most of it, though. And luckily, bugs were always free to roam.
Much like humans, many animals use their environment to their advantage. Some use it to build homes like beavers, while others use it to forage food like squirrels in the coming winter months. For others, though, it’s a little bit more complicated.
For the animals of the snowy places, their environment can save them or feed others. Prey and predator are just playing hide and seek from each other in all that white. We guess it’s just a matter of who finds who first.
Size Doesn’t Mean Much
There are so many other animals with bigger brains than human beings, yet we are the kings at the top of the food chain. That just proves that bigger doesn’t mean better, especially when it comes to wits and smarts.
The size of the brain of one species simply has to be proportional to the size of that species. Maybe that’s the case with these poor sperm whales. But it seems they’re doing fine for themselves, so no matter, right?
Everything Has Got To Count For Something, Right?
These pigeons have a point that maybe we should all consider. Everything we do has to count for something, even if it is as simple as doing our business. It’s still a part of our journey in the land of the living, right?
Sure, we won’t get a statue or a medal for every single thing we do, but we’re pretty sure every little thing we do is leading up to something big in our lives. So maybe we shouldn’t belittle any action we take. It’s for a bigger purpose; believe it.
There’s No Party There Alright
It would be a joy if the sound of rattlesnakes meant a party was nearby, but alas. We can’t have only good things in this world. As joyous as that sound is, you better get away from it fast if you value your life.
Encountering a rattlesnake in the wild is no party at all. The bite of that snake is a pretty nasty one for both animals and humans. You’re lucky if you can even get out of it alive. So nope, no maracas, no party, just no.
They’re Interior Decorators
There should really be an interior decor style called spidey style. Those spiders have some great skills, and we humans just can’t appreciate it enough. They even do it free of charge and without us asking them. How very considerate!
Their designs flourish best in places that have been abandoned by human love, and their contribution counts for something. At least they’re giving these places a second chance, unlike us humans who just left them to rot. And spider webs are some of the most beautiful things in nature.
They Got That Right
Yes, humans indeed do love trapping other living things for the sole purpose of their joy. Remember all the cages in circuses or zoos? They’re just slightly different from what we do with our pets and house plants. The irony is crystal clear in this one!
It’s like a hobby for humans to collect living things for joy and amusement. We collect plants, pets, and sometimes, we even collect fellow humans to fill the hole inside. It’s not all bad; we do it because we love to connect.
Not A Bad Way Of Coping
With all the stress life brings us, every one of us needs a great coping mechanism to keep us sane. As it seems, animals need it too, and no wonder. This woodpecker’s technique is a little tempting, but we weren’t built for it.
If we had strong beaks and absurdly strong necks, we’d probably be knocking on trees out of sheer stress every day. Every tree in our backyard would be filled with holes. At least we’d be releasing some tension from our busy minds.
They’re Just Living Their Best Life
Lions are the king of the jungle, and they’re basically at the top of the land animal food chain. But they don’t know that. They also don’t know that humans have long been using them as symbols of power, wealth, and all that.
They’re simply living their lives, bathing in the sun, scaring smaller animals, and chowing down on the meat the lionesses hunt with their strength and skill. That’s what you call living your best life without listening to any haters right there!
That’s The Keyword
Dogs and cats have a lot of differences. That’s why not many of them get along, but that doesn’t mean they can’t agree on some things. Take, for instance, acting crazy and running around without a valid reason. They can put aside their difference for that!
It’s one thing both animals do in common, and we can guess that it’s the one thing they will never judge each other on. Both of them get how free it feels to run around like a complete crazy fool. It’s glorious to witness.
They Have A Point
If you think about it, animals can totally go The Purge on us if they wanted to if it was simply in their nature. After all, they don’t understand our rules, and they were never really made to include them, right?
Thankfully, some animals like these crows only go for a little bit of theft here and there. If we were stuck in the wild, though, it would be a completely different story altogether. Out there, there are instincts, but no rules.
This Is Normal Everyday Conversation
We feel like a normal conversation between a cat and a dog living in the same house would sound like this. One tries to keep the conversation going and build some camaraderie, while the other only replies in glares of contempt.
If it’s not about rabbit droppings, we can bet that cats would still find something to hold dogs in contempt over in any conversation. Maybe not all cats and dogs fight, but we can imagine households with particularly sassy cats get tense.
Oh, the Innocence and Enthusiasm
One thing we all love about dogs is their enthusiasm. A close second to that is their sincerity. They are delightful creatures, and they make life so much better. They also have a reputation for being kind of ditzy and naive, but we love that too.
And raccoons, on the other hand – well, they are cunning and have street smarts. We can imagine what would follow this conversation. The raccoon would lie its way in and probably score some food. The dog would never realize what happened.
The Leaf Loungers
We know the joys of jumping into a pile of crispy fall leaves. There is nothing that screams “childhood” quite the same way. But one thing we never thought about until after we were covered in leaves was the bug population in said pile.
This comic makes us laugh because imagining the slugs plotting is a fantastic thing to picture. It would make all of those harrowing memories of encounters of the slimy kind a lot easier to handle. The bugs want to have their fun too.